“The Body is the inescapable factor…you can keep in good shape for what you are…but radical change is impossible. Health isn’t making everybody into a Greek ideal; it’s living out the destiny of the body…You have to know yourself physiologically and people don’t want to believe the truth about themselves. They get some mental picture of themselves and then they devil the poor body, trying to make it like the picture. When it won’t obey – can’t obey, of course – they are mad at it, and live in it as if it were an unsatisfactory house they were hoping to move out of. A lot of illness comes from this.” Robertson Davies –Rebel Angels
What do you think is this true for you? Do you have an embodiment issue?
I can see how it was true for me. I existed in my body as if it was some flawed cloak I could throw off at any time for a better more perfect one. My preferred body was a celestial one. Happily flying to the stars, giving readings as an astrologer, or hanging out with non-corporeal friends were the best of times. Demanding my body obey me – I envisioned a thinner body, straighter hair, and an ability to float from one experience to the next. Instead of receiving obeisance I was stuck in a peasant body. Curly hair, stocky frame, primitive dancer, and a big mouth.
I longed for the stars. When I was a child I had imaginary friends from the stars who would come and talk with me while I made earth pies, cakes, and cookies for them. When I discovered astrology I felt like I had come home. I communicated with the planets, and stars as if they were my allies and friends. I still love giving astrology readings. While I am giving a reading I am not the peasant body, I am part of a hologram that includes the stars, the client, and the time and place they were born. Information just pours into me and I am filled with wonder.
When I understood the scientific truth that supernovas created all elements I was confirmed in my belief that we are all stars. A part of me wondered if we are all stars then why do we need to be in this body?
The dichotomy of living with the stars and being in this body has always been a challenge. Truth is that when I feel most at home in my body I am working in my garden, drumming, hiking, and dancing. The daily self-care used to be a challenge. As I age it is more of a pleasure. I love giving myself an oil massage, or practicing yoga, or working out in the pool. There is joy in movement probably because there was such a long period of time that I could not easily move.
As long as I refused to accept all of myself, I hurt myself. When I hurt myself that makes me feel vulnerable and awkward. That awkwardness and hurt has to go somewhere. I don’t know if having embodiment issues was one of the reasons I developed cancer. But it could have been. I certainly lived in an unsatisfactory house. Illness could be a result of those feelings.
Today I am learning to accept this great solid body as being one with the stars. I am embodied in a better home than I could ever have realized. I am learning that I can give readings and still want to come home to me, this body, now. I am healthier than I have been in years. I am grateful for all the wonder I experience from being in this magical body.
Have you had an astrology reading lately? Want to walk with the stars together and discover why you are here now?